One of my biggest fears is the scale. When I developed my eating disorder a few years ago, the scale was both my best friend AND my mortal enemy! I would weight myself every single day, sometimes more than once. When I wouldn't see weight coming off quickly (which you don't in one freaking day) I would purge... It was such a horrible time for me. Instead of focusing on the fact I was feeling better, I was worried about that number...
This time around I do not even own a scale. I haven't weighed myself at all since starting this new way of life. I am scared to even be near one to be honest. I feel like I may have lost a little, but overall I do not even want to see the numbers. Not only are they gross to beging with, but I do not want to be sick again. I was soooo caught up in bulemia and anorexia that I almost died.. I probably SHOULD have died to tell you the truth, but something kept me here!
I'm hoping to get over this sickness soon. I have felt completely ill for about 3 days now. I don't think it's my body adjusting because I've been on the plan over a week, but something is wrong. Maybe I'm not eating enough? Who knows....
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